Names and Trends -

#4. Request friends and family who drop in to see the baby to visit with the older child first.

#5. If it is possible, suggest to friends that a small gift for the firstborn would be appreciated when they bring gifts for the baby. Now, it may not always be appropriate to make this suggestion. If so, keep small toys or other gifts handy to give the child when baby receives a new gift.

At this stage, don’t worry about teaching the child that he won’t get a gift every time someone else does. That can come later.

#6. If your firstborn reverts to earlier behaviors, take it as a signal that he needs more attention. Don’t pay attention to his regressive behaviors, though.

#7. Let the older child participate with you to a small extent in taking care of the baby. For example, he could start up a crib mobile, or could offer a pacifier to the baby.

#8. Allow the big brother / sister to hold and cuddle the baby, under close supervision.

#9. Give the firstborn a ‘baby’ of her own to play with, dress, feed, etc.

#10. The older child may express some of his frustrations to you. He can’t sleep because the baby cries too much, or he doesn’t get to spend time with mommy, etc. Empathize with him. Let him know that you share his frustrations and feel the same way.

Use these simple suggestions and watch your firstborn get over his frustrations more easily and become friends with the new baby.